Why I support BBH: Remembering Dale and compassionate care

I give in memory of my brother, Dale, who passed away at Bailey-Boushay House (BBH) on July 4, 1995. He died after a relatively short battle with AIDS at just 30 years old.

This was fairly early in the AIDS epidemic and treatment was essentially non-existent. Dale had received services from the Chicken Soup Brigade while he was still able to live independently prior to his final hospitalization and transition to hospice care at BBH. I was in paramedic school while living and working in St. Louis, Missouri at the time. When my brother was initially hospitalized, his nursing team did not have the education we have now to treat patients with AIDS. During that time, he was denied food, due to a belief that serving patients' basic needs could result in the virus's transmission. It was not until I called and spoke with the charge nurse that he was finally provided with meals and support needed to eat.

Needless to say, it was a huge relief to Dale and our entire family when a bed opened up at BBH where he could spend his last days surrounded by compassionate and well-educated care providers. Their care allowed our family to spend time with Dale without worrying that he would be denied basic human dignity including food, clothing, and a safe place to live out his final days. I knew my brother was in the right place to support his passing when we last spoke on the phone. According to my family members, who were able to share time at BBH with Dale, they all were treated with the utmost levels of not just decency, but dignity, respect, and kindness.

Since his passing, I have attempted to celebrate the peaceful end of his fight with AIDS by making a donation around July 4 as well as his birthday on Sept. 15. To this day, many in our family see July 4 as an Independence Day not just for our nation, but for our brother, son, cousin, and uncle.

It buoys me with hope and happiness that the treatment of AIDS has progressed so far that people who were diagnosed the year that Dale died may still be alive today. This is due not only to the progress in medical care, but in supportive food, housing, and outreach work by organizations such as VMFH and BBH. Thank you all for the care of my brother Dale and my family while he was at BBH, as well as the countless others you have served since then.

~ Dana Buckley